Eminem – The Real Slim Shady parody. Here’s the original for reference, and here’s an instrumental version for anyone who wants to sing along.
[If I remember correctly, this started as a joke about “Won’t the real clean energy please stand up”]
Y’all act like you never generated power before,
That’s what nuclear’s for,
So much power it bursts through the door
And started beating renewables worse than before,
While ‘bio-fuels’ burnin up wood furniture.
It’s the return of the “Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding.
He didn’t just produce electricity, did he?”
And MZJ said- Nothing, his ‘roadmap’ leads to nowhere but he’ll sue me for saying that HAHA
Millennials dislike nuclear, ‘OMG ChErNoByL fUkUsHiMa just look at them!!1!
3 other reactors producing power, we can just ignore that, windmills are so cute though”
Yeah, they probably got that natural gas backing up their ass
But solar and wind just can’t produce enough without that
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t
But it’s cool to pretend batteries will have enough juice
“The wind is gonna blow. The sun is gonna shine.
And with these subsidies it might just take a little time.”
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what capacity factor is.
Of course they gonna know what it of course is
By the time they hit fourth grade They got an introduction to physics.
“We ain’t nothing but mammals..” Well, some of us mammals need to quit spewing carbon with no plan at all
But if we ain’t got no plan at all then antelopes are doomed and that goes for mammals and all the animals
But if you know what I know, nuclear’s the antidote
Producin’ like a firehose, sing the chorus and it goes
I’m generatin’, yeah always generatin’ Renewables are hatin’ ’cause they’re just out there fakin’, and nuclear power plants don’t need backup, need backup, need backup 2x
[Skip to last verse]
I’m like a head trip to listen to, cause I’m only giving you
Facts you talk about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is renewables can’t power much at all and I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it And whether you like to admit it nuclear power just splits it
Better than ninety percent capacity factor
Then you wonder how can cities use this power like all day it’s funny
’cause at this rate when nuclear plants turn thirty
They’ll be the only plants not needing rebuilt and dirty
Replacing solar panels and windmills, and green new deals,
And turbines cause the original ones aren’t working
And can’t recycle solar panels worth it,
They could be full of heavy metal leaks, sittin’ in a garbage heap
Or else a wind turbine, circling, collapse when the wind picks up
Oil leaking down, fire blazes up
So, will the real Green energy please stand up?
And put money where mouth is or please shut up
And be proud to be generating electricity
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it be?
I’m generatin’, yeah always generatin’ Renewables are hatin’ ’cause they’re just out there fakin’, and nuclear power plants don’t need backup, need backup, need backup 4x
Mikl Moose 